I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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