sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
