I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
