I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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