The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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