I heard we made out
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
