So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize