I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Randomize
