he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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