were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
