How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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