Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
