Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
