How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize