Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
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Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
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so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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