Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
They took my balls.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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