I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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