her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
