When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
