and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
