Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
