Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
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It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
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And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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