i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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