I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
