Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
