You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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