Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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