I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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