You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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