HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize