So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
