Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I need a burrito and a hug.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
