Plan B is the new Plan A
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
