you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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