I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
too bad you live with your parents still
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
