Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
