I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
