Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
