i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
