my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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