in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
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Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
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She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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