ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
