I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
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You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
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exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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