He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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