Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
