talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
