Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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