Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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