He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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