i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
