Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
