If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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