I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
