After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize