before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
