So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
