Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
