The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
