No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
