i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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